After finishing chapters seven through ten I was astonished by Malcolm’s actions. From his hustling, steeling, to drug use, and smoking and gambling in jail, it was all unbelievable to me. Malcolm describes, "In any organization, someone must be the boss. If its even just one person you've got to be the boss of yourself" (Haley 145). The quote above proves that Malcolm is the only man that can control his actions. All of his illegal operations are his fault. This quote also begins the description of the elaborate, unheard of, process to burglarizing. The amount of work and planning that Malcolm went through demonstrates how desperate he really was. This quote still relates to my life today. I am the only one that determines my success in the future. No one pressures me to do the amount of work I do. Yes, some can call me an "over-achiever", but I don't mind. In a way I take it as a compliment. They are able to see the amount of work that I put in. My parents even feel that I am doing too much. They do not put pressure on me what so ever, because I put enough pressure on myself to succeed. Although this is positive, and some would want to be in my shoes because my parents aren't always on my back, it can also be a negative. To have all of this internal pressure built up inside of me it gets pretty difficult. I tend to stress way more than I should, and I also make little things big deals. Such as the amount of time I spend on my homework. I just wish that one day for a change some one could tell me, "Do this worksheet but only for 20 minutes, and work on this but there is no grade, and also YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TESTS!!" The stress in my life would be gone. After analyzing the way I live my life, I wanted to truly understand the psychological reasoning for my irrational thoughts. For example, how come I feel that if I fail a test or don't spend 3 to 4 hours a night on my homework I won't succeed in life? Here's what I came up with ..... http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/extrinsic http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intrinsic The first step to me figuring out what's going through my mind is determining whether or not it is intrinsic (a cause from inside my body) or extrinsic (a cause from something outside of my body). I came to the conclusion that it is most definitely extrinsic. School and all the work causes these irrational thoughts. I need to just breathe sometimes and be able to except failure when it comes my way. I need to understand that in order to succeed you have to experience failure at some point. It only makes you a better person, and you can learn from your mistakes. I am diagnosing myself... This is pretty weird.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Malcolm X #3 (1)
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2 comments:
Cay--I think the best part of your blog entry is your discussion of how your religion has affected your life. I would have liked more of that in place of the quotes from the book. Also, your URL links to interesting material but you don't really analyze anything on the link that you provide. That needs to be expanded.
I definitely do agree with your thoughts about the autobiography. Malcolm sunk to the very bottom before being "revived" in prison. He was burglarizing houses in order to pay for more drugs! There is nothing much worse than that. Once he went into prison he became a better overall person, just as you may feel when you go to Church. I see how you still can connect with him, even though your lives are completely contradicting.
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